The Power of Pleasure:
How Reclaiming Joy Healed My Heart
Pleasure is not a privilege, it’s what makes us human. Pleasure requires mindfulness. Joy is an emotion (often brought on by pleasure), but pleasure is a sensation. Our senses tell us if something is pleasurable or not. We choose foods that pleasure our senses. We choose to stand in the sun and feel its warmth. We find pleasure in touch. We have sounds that lift our souls whenever we hear them. We listen to music and dance because it feels good. We have smells that are reminders of the good times and we feel them deeply in our souls. We’re one of the few species that have sex purely for pleasure.
Yet… So many of us deny ourselves pleasure when we experience trauma and tragedy. We feel ourselves unworthy. We restrict our access to pleasurable experiences. We hide, we deny, we rush.
At the beginning of 2025 I worked through the Goal Workbooks from Leonie Dawson’s Academy. This was the second year I did that and this year I used a lot more of the features more regularly throughout the year. One of the things she recommends is creating theme days. Learning the power of pleasure through my coaching over the last few years was an important value I wanted to focus on this year. Therefor Fridays for me are Pleasure Fridays. Usually that means taking time to do things I love to do, choosing meals that bring me pleasure, finishing work early to sit in my garden when the weather is nice.
Today however I took it a step further.
The Power of Pleasure Friday
Today I stayed in bed later than planned. I listened to three different meditations. I drank my coffee in bed and savoured the flavour. I stroked the soft fur of my snuggling cat. Then I got up slowly when my body was ready and took a long, hot shower. I savoured the hot water on my skin and hair. I felt the warmth ease the tension in my shoulders and back. I felt the texture of my soaps on my body and the way my hands felt as I paid attention to them caressing my skin. I smelled the delicious scents of the shampoo, conditioner, face wash and body wash that I have chosen for my own pleasure.
As the water cascaded over my body I relished the feeling of having stress, tension and worry wash down the plug hole. I delighted in the sensation of water droplets falling on my face and body. I became mindful of my shower and it heightened the pleasure of what is often a very mundane task.
After my shower I dried myself and then luxuriated as I anointed my body with essential oil blends. Paying attention to the sensations – my hands as I rubbed my skin, the smells of the oils, the way the light caught the oil as it shimmered on my skin. Before I got dressed I did some somatic exercises I had seen on a reel this week – something I’ve never done before, and yet by being in pleasure, I was able to draw that memory in and use it to help me get grounded and mindful for today. I styled my hair – enjoying the feel of the curl cream and mousse as I scrunched my curls and relishing the sounds the combination of wet hair and products make.
After getting dressed I enjoyed another cup of coffee and my breakfast sitting on my patio enjoying the sounds and sights of a late winter morning in the country. The beautiful sunshine, the birds, the sound of trains, the cows and sheep nearby, the dogs barking – all of it reminders of this life that I have chosen and dreamed of for year.
As I sit here writing, with the doors open and the brisk air blowing through the house, I am lifted by the sounds of the birds arguing with my cats or dogs outside the front door – chattering and chirping in ways I never heard in the city.
I have turned off notifications and put my computer on reduce distractions while I write as writing is pleasurable to me. It feeds my soul, it makes me feel that I am doing what I am called to do and it fills me with so much joy to share my words. And sharing about the power of pleasure is such an important part of our human experience, and for years it was something I denied myself.
My story is filled with heartbreak, trauma and tragedy. And I used pleasure as a weapon against myself. I blamed my desire for pleasure in my twenties for the tragedies in my late thirties. I denied pleasure to myself when I was most desperate for it. I punished myself by restricting and closing that part of me off. As I moved in the right circles over the last few years I have more and more realised that pleasure, especially for women, is so tied to our ability to make a difference in the world. When we are in pleasure we are unstoppable. When we are in pleasure we are so in touch with ourselves and so mindful of all that is. When we are in pleasure we are deeply able to connect with other people in ways that are deep and profound. That is the power of pleasure and it’s ability to make us human.
Reclaiming Pleasure
My journey back to myself began with these small acts of reclaiming pleasure, and yours can too. That’s the power of pleasure!
So my call to you is – How can you find a moment of pleasure right now?
You don’t need a whole morning dedicated to it, or a day a week that’s highlighting it. But what you do need is to feel the texture of your favourite dress, to smell the rich aroma of your favourite drink, to hear the music that lights your heart up, to notice the colour of the flowers or the way the light plays in the trees. Build moments of pleasure into your day constantly and watch yourself feel more present every day. The power of pleasure is in mindfulness, presence and a key contributor to success.
Pleasure is mindfulness!
Pleasure is presence!
Pleasure is pivotal to our success!